Five Things I’d Like to Say to Brett Favre

After reading the latest comments made by Brett Favre, two things are more clear to me now than ever before.

  1. Brett Favre is missing life in the limelight as much as I’m missing life as my parents only child (see Charlie Watkins, age 22).
  2. Brett Favre did not expect to yield his throne to somebody as more dominant than he was (see Aaron Rodgers, age 27).

Understanding that he will most likely do everything he can do to stay in my view for as long as possible, I’ve made a list of the five things that I would like to say to him just in case he and I happened to headline the same pep rally and found ourselves face to face.

  • 5. “My dad was a better saxophone player than I’ll ever be, but he never once felt the need to bring that to my attention. His tuna-salad was mediocre at best but he couldn’t stop talking about it. See where I’m going here?”
  • 4. “Remember when your dad passed away and the following day you went on the field on Monday Night Football and you led your team to a 41-7 romp over the Raiders behind your 311 yards and four touchdowns in the first half? That was awesome!”
  • 3. “I bet if you did a little more spending and a little less texting, the economy would appreciate it.”
  • 2. “You’re the only guy I know who has ever played touch football in jeans. That was awesome!” (See any Wrangler commercial over the last 25 years)
  • 1. Mr. Favre – and I mean this in all the due respect that your career has deserved -please, shut up.