At 29 1/2, I’m barely old enough to vote. But as a young adult, registered independent, in Florida, if my vote is really as important as all the pundits say, here’s what I would do to make this whole election process more appealing to people like me:
10. Get-to-Know-You Games in the Line of Voting Precincts
Maybe it’s just the youth minister in me, but I see this as a win-win. With a long, necessary wait, we all need something to pass the time that is more productive than typing “Gee, these lines are so long…” on Facebook. Also, by November, we should all be ready for a holiday season full of “Forced Family Fun”. One more wouldn’t hurt, especially with our neighbors on both sides of the aisle.
9. Amendment Voters Must Demonstrate an Understanding of Said Amendment
I am scared by Amendments entitled, “Amendment to Love Puppies” that then begin with “Whereas the prohibition of this amendment will prohibit the prohibition…” because it always leaves me unclear as to whether or not said amendment is actually saying puppies are good or bad. Therefore, any person who wishes to vote on an amendment may do so after proving that they know what it says.
8. Candidates Must Say Five Nice Thing About The Opposition
Don’t start your victory speech with a call for bi-partisanship, START your campaign with one. My parents used to implement this rule when my little brother and I would fight, it seemed to work okay.
7. Any Political Facebooker Must Yield Equal Time to Opposite-Minded Friends
You know, we’ve been hearing about the cyber-bullying that comes as a result of one-way, near anonymous communication. And this is another example in a grown-up (sorta) environment. While these posts are not annonymous, too many of us have been posting without accountability to those wishing to disagree in dialogue. If it’s not worth a dialogue, save it for a debate. It’s far too easy to be disrespectful and impractical when we’re talking to a screen and not a human.
6. Veri-Sign Ability to Track Our Votes
Unfortunately, we are living in an age where it is appropriate to question the integrity of EVERY process. If I am able to track my Ebay orders from door to door and everywhere in between, I oughtta be able to track my vote to make sure it counted. Don’t ask me how? Not my job. I’m too busy changing the world here…
5. Greater Emphasis on Fact-Checking
Please people, instead of covering every corner of my TV during the debates with charts and graphs about who’s happy and sad and which candidates facial tic is saying what, show me a + or -, is what he saying fact/crap? That’s what I wanna know.
4. Anybody Who Asks Me Who I Voted For is Subject to a Punch in the Face From the Same Lady Who I Once Asked, “How Much do You Weigh?”
Remember when it used to be rude to tell me how to think and why I was wrong if I disagreed? Yeah…
3. If You Aren’t Allowed to Vote for a Certain District, You Should Never Have to Even Watch the Commercial for Either Candidate
Living in Vero Beach, I’ve been watching the West Palm feed of Allen West vs. Patrick Murphy in what is the most grotesque political battle I’ve ever seen! Each side claimed the other was an absolute jackweed. And they were right. But after hours and hours of research, I picked the least jerkier of the two. I can’t even tell you how pissed I was in the voting booth when I realized that these yahoos weren’t even on my ballot. By my estimation, that’s 497 commercial breaks I will never get back.
2. Jon Stewart Moderates ALL Debates.
For the love of God, we need to start having a sense of humor about these things, it was the only thing that saved professional wrestling… Seriously though, Stewart’s liberal bias is no more than the same liberal bias put on all media and Stewart has a good record of following-up, clarifying, and not backing down from his questions, even with those he disagrees with in a way that is still polite and fair. And Number One…
1. MORE FREAKING STICKERS
I have a colleague who saved her “I Voted” sticker from early voting and retaped it on her blouse. How awesome is that?!
What says America more than pinning a brand name to your clothing.
Stickers! Stickers for all!
I’m Neal Watkins and I approve of this message.